My mother was a badass before anyone ever coined that word. My mother and I used to volunteer with Brother Benno when we lived in SoCal my first couple years of high school. He delivered food and other aid to undocumented migrants who slept in the fields they worked in at night. We’d pick squashes and other cold weather crops and I remember how chilly those moonlit nights could be. Under the current regime I wonder where that would’ve landed the three of us. Brother Benno was legendary, as was his work, and while his homemade bread was delicious, we’d pass on the creamed bologna.
Month: January 2025
Divesting from Big Tech
Not in the mood to howl into the void today, but I have been doing things like reading up on alternative search engines like DuckDuckGo, browsers like Brave and Opera, and other possibilities out there as I try to slowly divest my time and attention away from Big Tech. It’s slow going as I am no techie, but I can say I like DuckDuckGo so far. Haven’t missed Google at all. I’ve been using a computer since the early 80’s, and much as most of us are plugged in nowadays, I feel like many of us are now in that space of trying to figure out just how much time we want to be here in a digital world and where we want to hang out when we are here. Someday my presence here will just be another ghost in the machine, captured for all eternity, but in the meantime I truly do want to be a Spirit living in the material world.
“Good-by, Good-by, world. Good-by, Grover’s Corners… Mama and Papa. Good-by to clocks ticking… and Mama’s sunflowers. And food and coffee. And new-ironed dresses and hot baths…and sleeping and waking up. Oh, earth, you’re too wonderful for anybody to realize you.” Thornton Wilder, Our Town
Play Time
How could I possibly resist this today? The beach walk was divine, the swing sublime, and I feel fine…just a reminder to remember to play, so we can live to fight another day.
A Beach Walk
My thoughts have been zinging, pinging, reeling and squealing since Tuesday morning. Monday I focused on Dr. King’s legacy, honoring his work, and that of his wife and family. Tuesday was another story, a lot of doom scrolling, toxic for anyone’s health and wellness. I was nauseous and exhausted by the evening. Wednesday and Thursday I did better (with deliberate effort), listening to audiobooks, reading, baking, socializing IRL via phone calls and in person. Writing’s been tough, so I doodle and draw. Look at art. Make art, since my words have been failing me.
Today I’m off to the beach for a walk. A reset. Returning to the soft animal nature of my body, and the physical world I inhabit, away from the streaming noise of the digital world. It’s chaos out there I know, yes, and I feel for the rest of the world, as well as my own country, but for today I’ll just try to focus on my little patch of sand, walk, and listen to the seagulls squawk.
First Beach Walk 2025
Yesterday I took my first beach walk of 2025 for all of 20 minutes, but I was elated by it. I’m still struggling with the pesky respiratory thing, but I’m determined to return to my regular walking. Lately it’s been around the couple blocks that constitute our immediate neighborhood, but yesterday on the way home from an appointment, when I mentioned how I wasn’t looking forward to the usual walk, Marty suggested West Dennis Beach, as we were nearby anyway. Yes! All for it. Anything to avoid pounding pavement.
Well, that beach walk was brutal. And exhilarating. Why? 60mph plus winds, a parking lot that resembled a desert sandstorm, and a deserted beach presenting challenges I needed. Not too extreme, but doable. I was quick to dodge the car door as the wind slammed it shut. I climbed the stairs, over the wall, onto the beach, gripped my hood about my face, kept my head down, and I walked. Against the wind. Or rather I weaved. I was looking down most of the time, occasionally straying a little too close to the shoreline, and risking soggy feet. It felt so good. The wild aliveness of it all. And I was part of that. The pure sensory pleasure of feeling my lungs expand, and feeling stronger. Sometimes I staggered against the wind’s ferocity, but I felt the cushioning of the sand with each of my footfalls. Heard the roar of the water and the wind, felt the sharp scent of the salt air, anticipated the warmth and taste of that pot of spicy chai I’d have when I got home. I wondered at the seagulls, huddled against the elements, but still hugging the water’s edge. Just like me, us all huddled against the elements. Me, Saying Hail Mary’s, a remnant from my Catholic schoolgirl days, still one of my favorite prayers, to keep me going inch by inch. Hail Mary’s that always feel like a mother’s hug, reassuring me, it’s okay. You can do this. Step by step. Minute by minute. Yesterday’s beach walk was glorious. A multi-sensory explosion of feeling each and every one of my senses and the wonder of what it means to be human in what can sometimes feel like an inhospitable world. And I did it. I kept on.