What you see here and what’s really going on with me are two wildly different beasts. While I write and post, I haven’t been much into engaging with followers and I apologize for that. I love reading the comments, and certainly censoring or outright deleting some, but truth be told, the pandemic messed with an already fragile soul. What I like to project and who I actually am are vastly different. I have struggled with melancholy and anxiety for most of my adult life — presenting as introspective daydreamer and shy when I was a child. Or call it depression and stress — whatever. The point is, I haven’t been much into this scene lately. Living in a busy tourist town, while trying to recalibrate a post-pandemic life has been a challenge and I am still adjusting. What is that saying about the world being too much with us? I think sometimes we all want a break from that world; I think many times we need a break from that world, and I think sometimes we need to hear someone tell us, it’s okay to take a break from that world. Why? I truly believe we are not wired to live in that kind of world — a world that moves at breakneck speed. We are sensory beings, we are animals and that world we’ve become conditioned to accepting as “normal”, as “desirable”? It’s NOT — unless it’s truly desired. And even when it is supposedly desired, I will still believe those that believe that are fooling themselves. I am not aboriginal. I don’t even know what my ancestors did for their version of Walkabout. I only know that I want to do my own version. I want to go on Walkabout, retreating into the Dreamtime, walking the Ley lines, rescuing myself from being swallowed whole by systems that can easily absorb all of me. Thirty years ago, I might have thought I’m watching too much TV. Which was okay in a way because it was passive and relaxing — it WASN’T social media (and by social media I include TEXT messaging, probably one of the worst kinds for me) — it was just plain media — social implies engagement — and in social media I feel an inherent urgency to always always always get back get back get back as soon as as soon as as soon as — and I can’t, I simply can’t. Because…as a child when I was asked why about my feelings…I couldn’t articulate…because…sometimes…t
