Ordinary

I’m happy to be blogging again but am aware of the risk of narcissism, self-indulgence, and ego creeping into my posts. I want to be careful of that but sometimes it’s hard. We all want our lives to count for something, to stand out from the crowd, to matter, to transcend our history (hopefully), and we’re here this go round for such a very short time.

We want to be special, not just ordinary like everybody else, and yet that is where I feel most connected to another, when I learn I am not alone in my feelings, that they are common and ordinary and shared. My life is beautiful in its everyday ordinariness, and I am happy to share it with others who are struggling with the ordinary too.

Simple Potato Gratin

Hmmm, what to make for dinner? Truth be told, I love to bake but am not crazy about cooking. Or perhaps I should clarify…involved cooking. I like simple food. Straightforward ingredients. Seasonal and as local as I can get is good, too. This makes me a huge fan of Alice Waters. If I ever needed someone to validate my need to cook (and bake) this way, it is Alice. Why validate? Because Alice elevates simple cooking to the sublime. It doesn’t have to be complicated to be divine. So thank you, Alice, for helping me realize that I am a great cook sometimes and an even better baker most times.
And here is one of Alice’s recipes from The Art of Simple Food: Potato Gratin. For the details, I encourage you to get her book…if you can’t buy it, borrow it from your local library system.

What I use: several potatoes, thinly sliced and layered in a buttered casserole pan. Salted and peppered on each layer. Overlap the layers and if you’d like, layer in some thinly sliced onions or other veggie you may love (even kale!). Marty, me matey, doesn’t like onions so I sprinkle a light layer of smoked Gouda or other cheese we like. When I’ve used up the potatoes, or filled my casserole, I pour a mixture of milk and heavy cream over it to cover the potatoes. Sprinkle on some paprika, maybe some bread crumbs, and bake at 350 degrees, uncovered, for about an hour. Serve with greens and/or whatever accompaniments feed your soul at that moment. Breathe deeply and enjoy!

Words, wise and otherwise

Trying to pay attention more. Remembering that I do not have most of the answers. Or that when I make a pronouncement, that is not the be all and end all. It’s only my piece of the story.

Remembering that it all turns out all right in the end. And if it’s not all right, then it isn’t the end. (One of those pronouncements I wish I’d made, but alas, and probably not originally, it’s from “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel”).

A Calling

My word for 2012 when I picked one (choosing amongst plenty is so very difficult for me) was FOCUS. And upon reflecting today, I realized that while I am distracted by an endless list of interests, I have managed to pull some focus. What helped was moving away from the Cape to New Bedford for not even a year (!) and learning that I missed my family and the community I have created here. Terribly. And that it’s also okay to miss Vermont after 15 years, but that Hyannis is now my home, for better or worse, and I am ready to commit.

Having a house with a bit of land certainly helps with the commitment factor, but I returned here with no thought of ever owning again, and I was fine with that. Then a well-loved house down the street from my Dad’s (Home has been a vision I’ve held in my heart for close to the 15 years I’ve been back here) manifested. I am fortunate to have a generous father. He’s a quiet, simple living, traditional and conservative sort of guy, but he is so good to my sisters and me. And if that isn’t love, then I don’t know what is.

The folks I sold my Vermont home to sold it this past year (I dreamed about buying it back) and that probably helped me move forward too. And there is a vibrant community here on the Cape, I had just dropped out of it for several years. Got tired of working at it, the ups and downs, slips and slides, big fish in a small pond syndrome, cliques, and all that. But not anymore. Belonging, to myself, to a community, to the landscape, is WORK. And it is my Work. I thought my word for this year was going to be HOME, but after writing this I am not so sure. My word for 2013 may be WORK. It is a good 4 letter word.

St.Stephen’s Day

Yesterday was St. Stephen’s Day, also known as Boxing Day.  Have no idea why it’s one of my favorite days of the season. Perhaps it’s because I like to believe and practice that there really are 12 Days of Christmas beginning with the big day and leading up to the beautiful Feast of the Epiphany, or Little Christmas.

Molly and I drove up to Vermont yesterday to join old friends and family for hugs, visiting and good cheer. We’ve woken up to a gorgeous snowstorm, albeit we must take care in it.

Wonder, magic and love swirl around us amidst the twinkling, drifting flakes falling softly around us.

Nollaig Shona

I heard Bono was busking on Grafton Street in Dublin yesterday…how cool is that?

We enjoyed long walks, a quiet evening watching Joyeux Noel about the WWI Christmas truce in 1914, and then sitting by candlelight before bed for reading and rest. I love this quiet low-key Christmas. Today was a leisurely day visiting both sides of the family, and tomorrow I’m off to Vermont with Molly for more visits with family and old friends. ‘Tis the season to make time to spend with the ones we love.

Still

Still reading all the Squam posts…2 weeks since the day of arrival and what I wouldn’t give to create some of that magic here today. The well’s been drying up lately and I can’t wait for NBOS this coming weekend. I really should be writing vintage bathing suit descriptions, and a gazillion other things in preparation for a big event this coming weekend and our upcoming move to a gritty whaling port of yesteryear, in its heyday the wealthiest city in the world.

Exciting but also overwhelming. So I escape back to Holderness by reading the journal entries of others. Love it, because they all capture so many different aspects of it that together recreate the entire experience for me.

What I did for my birthday week

yep, the older I get it moves from my birth DAY, to my birthday WEEKEND, and now it’s slowly creeping up to birthday WEEK, I imagine MONTH is what follows…I love that the September Squam falls around my birthday, and now that I’ve finally gone, there is no doubt it will become an annual pilgrimage for me. As the wise woman says, it is not a luxury, it is a need.

The last time I went to a retreat was when I was 16. It was called ECHO and was at the Craigville Conference Center. And while there were girls there I knew, there were also those there I didn’t. And while it was a Christ-centered retreat, it involved much storytelling, art, creativity and all around sharing as does SAW. Which makes me wonder — spirit, God, art, nature, creation…isn’t it all the same? I know the message of Squam was the same as the message of ECHO — whether we knew each other or not when we arrived, we felt the same thing when we left — one LOVE. Mmmmm, blessed synchronicity.